I first encountered the phrase when Emma Watson used it self-referentially in Vogue Magazine in 2019 link here. I liked the term immediately, since it so accurately represented my developing preferences as a solo person who is not looking for a partner and is happy with my status as single.
This blog is for those who, like me, are embracing the term “self-partnered” and who are enjoying deeply exploring the experiences of their time alone. If you found your way here, then you must be too.
Self-partnering is the antidote response to the multitude of articles that frequently happen across our reading lists, all focused on the topic of how to cope with being single. The ones that recommend that you delete your ex’s phone numbers; that you burn all his pictures; and that you feel sorry for yourself. These are the articles that usually end by recommending that you indulge yourself by eating sugar or by buying stuff. I grew frustrated with the idea that being single has to be unhealthy, and is always something that a person needs to “cope with.” That is simply not my reality as a happy single person.
There is no question, however, that getting through every single day (pun intended) can be a challenge. Sometimes it is a struggle to dance in this world as a solitary dancer. I started this blog as a bit of a tongue-in-cheek site where I can share my experiences, struggles, stories, advice and humor. I also created this blog as a community space for those people who are finding themselves as solo, single and self-partnered actors on the world’s stage, who are embracing a “single state of mind,” and who want to share their creative experiences in support of that path.
Being single doesn’t have to carry a stigma. It doesn’t have to invoke sympathy. Secret note – self-partnered folks often feel sympathy for the struggles of their partnered friends and frequently give inner thanks that they don’t have to deal with that kind of stuff. This blog supports the idea that it is perfectly legitimate for a person to get out of the dating game altogether. We are our own partners, damn it! Shut up already and let’s move on!